Tips for How to Avoid Burnout During the Holiday’s

“That was the best night this whole season,” my daughter said to me. Even as the exhaustion showed on her face from the late hour, her eyes sparkled.

Our guests had just left from an impromptu night of Christmas caroling in our living room. As my daughter spoke, I raced around, trying to tidy everything up. I absolutely detested waking up the next morning to the mess from the night before.

Back and forth, I walked between the living room, kitchen, and dining room, up the stairs to the playroom, and back down again. All the while, she followed behind, recounting parts of the night.

As she talked, my mind was racing with the things I needed to get done before I could go to bed. I was honestly barely listening to my teen. I know! Horrible mom moment, for sure. Then she said something that brought me up short. “I wish you had been able to really enjoy it, Mom.”

WHAT?

I stopped midstride, turned to look her in the eye, and gave the reflex, “Of course I enjoyed it.”

But she shook her head. “No. You were too busy trying to make the night ‘perfect’ to sit still and really enjoy it.”

That's a story I recall each year around this time. It was the old me. The burned out, stressed out, hectic mom me. The one who lived each day with no intention. The one who raced and said "yes" before considering the consequences of the 100 "yeses" I gave each day.

Do you tend to add more to your "to-do list" during this festive season?

Years ago, I was an adder. I piled on more and more because I wanted to do all of the things. I was laser focused on "spending time" with family members. I wanted to usher in joy in the best ways I knew how. This included excessive holiday plans to create massive time for joy. It included holiday parties and family gatherings that I was sure would add just a little but of extra magic to the season. A busy holiday season was a good holiday season, am I right? 

Nope. I am not right. 

What my priority list did back then was actually create a very stressful time of year for all involved. The family dynamics would change as I set unrealistic expectations for us all. Does any of this sound familiar? 

One major burnout and long recovery later, now as the holidays approach, you can find me adding more to my "stop doing" list instead of creating a stressful situation.  

Wild right? It may seem far-fetched for sure. 

Lots of December Goals and end-of-year deadlines are happening now, lots of family "to-do's," and lots of "crushing it" mom moments to help fill the month with holiday cheer.

But what if your month looked different?

What if it was more intentional? Slower? Unhurried and still productive? Well, now you are speaking my post-burnout love language.

I will share something with you that was a life-changing thought for me: Each day, your children look at you with the same wish, "I wish you could enjoy it, Mom."

Sure, maybe they don't know that's what they are looking for as they race around behind you, chatting excitedly in your ear, but it's their hope, regardless of whether they can verbalize it. 

If you can wrap your head around that new concept for a moment, perhaps you can join me in new ways of doing December this year.

It truly is the most wonderful time of the year yet in our excitement to check off all of the holiday tasks, we often lose sight of it all and end up with holiday burnout instead. 

Can we really avoid holiday stress and still manage to enjoy holiday activities? 

Yes. Yes, we can. 

My first step every December is to make sure I am staying rooted in God's Word. At this stage in my life, I start each day by reading the Bible, but it wasn't so long ago that this was not my daily practice. If it isn't yours, that's ok. 

Don't get those cortisol levels bumping by focusing on things you aren't doing. If you could, instead, find time in your day to work this in. 

You don't have to set a perfect scene or even dedicate an hour (although I will warn you, as you deepen your relationship with God, you'll find you want to spend as much time with him as possible). 

Let's just work this into something you are already doing. Do you shower each morning? Pop open the Bible app and swing into the book of Luke- then hit that little play icon that pops up and it will read it aloud to you. It's a great one to read in the month of December. 

For my Jewish friends: I believe First and Second Maccabees talk about the Temple and lighting of the Menorah. It's also mentioned in John 10:22, where he discusses the Feast of Dedication.

For those who don't know, yes, Jesus celebrated Hanukkah.

Prioritize

What is really important to you and your loved ones this month? Think about that. Write it down. And then, protect it. You don't have to go to every holiday party or event.

It's ok to skip them! Instead, make some cookies and hot cocoa, hop in the car, and search for awesomely decorated houses while you carol together.

Or, pop that popcorn and snuggle up for a great movie. It's ok to take time to slow down!

Speaking of prioritizing- I know you want to wrap your business things up with a big bow for the end of 2024, which is awesome! Think about your 1-3 things. Write them down. And then protect them.

Don't add to the list. Don't lose focus. Stay the course and accomplish those things, and then grab some tea and take some personal time to reflect on your accomplishments for 2024.

Rest

Yes, get rest during this "busy" season. There are seven different types of rest that author Saundra Dalton-Smith, MD, discusses in her book Sacred Rest. 

She breaks down Mental Rest, Physical Rest, Emotional Rest, Spiritual Rest, Social Rest, Sensory Rest, and Creative Rest.

You see, you need more than just a good night's sleep and possibly a nap as part of any self-care routine. (Both a nap and a good night's sleep would be considered Passive Physical Rest.)

Put rest on your December list, and give yourself the gift of true rest.

If you'd like more info on rest, you can grab the rest cheat sheet I created (thanks to Dalton-Smith) here. 

So this December....

Let's make this December look different. Let's allow our children and others to see us really enjoy the month, enjoy the moments, enjoy the accomplishments, and maybe even enjoy a cookie. 

We get the opportunity to look at the entire month as a mindfulness break where instead of piling on we get to implement intentional, effective ways to avoid extra stress. 

I mean seriously, who can actually be stressed when your favorite holiday movies are playing right inside? Or hello, that entire shelf isn't going to read itself. Grab a good book and get cracking. Who needs excessive holiday spending when you can transform family time into gift-making frivolity (bonus: this is usually creative rest and can usually double as some mental rest, too!). 

Don't drain your energy levels by adding more "busy" to an already busy time of year. Instead, healthy boundaries, some healthy habits, a splash of relaxation techniques and boom... you can watch the added stress of the holidays disappear from your month. 

Your month doesn't have to look like everyone else's. It can look different. 

Who's with me? Need more ideas on how to Avoid Burnout this Christmas season? Grab this list of 10 ways you can do just that. Pick 1-3 to help you get started today!