5 Easy Ways to Take Time for Yourself
In a fantastic scene from the move The Holiday, the esteemed Kate Winslet tearily states, “You’re supposed to be the leading lady of your own life…”
Clients who fight through burnout often express that they felt they “had” to do things or that there was no choice. For some reason, they act like the “best friend” in their own life just going along for the ride supporting everyone on their own ways and losing theirs in the process.
Shifting the perspective to realize that you can actually step into the role of leading lady, or man, can be a highly empowering moment. We somehow think we need permission for this step so here you go-
YOU HAVE BLANKET PERMISSION TO BE THE
LEADING LADY/MAN IN YOUR OWN LIFE.
Now, if you're prone to always thinking of yourself, or living a bit too selfishly… then this advice is not for you. That’s a whole different blog post that you’d need to read to help you balance.
If, however, you tend to be a people pleaser and always concerned with those around you instead of worrying a moment about yourself.
If worrying or caring for yourself for even a few minutes makes you feel guilty…then today’s advice is just for you.
I tend to be a giver. However, the downside of a servants heart is not bothering to pay attention to myself long enough to care the way my body needs me to. I learned this the hard way during my burnout, and recovery.
How do you find that beautiful, soulful balance that still allows you to serve those around you joyfully while still filling your own inner self care cup? Here are a few tips to help you get started.
EARLY MORNING MOMENTS
Too often we are exhausted and race into our days already feeling behind schedule. Taking time each morning to ease into your day can be a real game changer.
You can try getting up just a little before everyone else and sitting with your favorite morning beverage outside to listen to the birds wake up.
Or perhaps, grab your Bible or favorite devotional and start your day giving thanks to God for the blessings in your life, like I do.
If you need help gaining that connection you can grab a copy of my book, Rest & Renew, a 30 day Journey to Connect with God. Another one of my favorite’s is this podcast, Dwell on These Things, by John Stange.
TIME BLOCK SOME “ME” TIME
I love a good list. If you do too, then blocking in some “me” time into your week is a completely do-able thing! Carve it out, highlight it in your favorite color. Go crazy and schedule that block a few times next week!
During that time, do something FOR YOU. I mean it, completely for yourself. No running errands. No tweaking kid things.
Go play.
Sit at your desk and run your fingers through some moon sand. Draw a picture. Knit. Color. Stack some legos. Reclaim some mindless playtime to refresh yourself. 15-20 minutes a few times a week can do wonders.
EMBRACE THE WORD, “NO.”
This is one I used to really struggle with, but have learned that ultimately it makes me a better person when I set healthy boundaries.
As my awesome friend Monica used to say to me, “It doesn’t always have to be you!” She would say this as we sat at community meetings together. We would hear those words, “we need someone to…” and she would look at me and remind me that it didn’t always have to be me doing those things.
This helped me a lot. I can hear her voice in my head even now, reminding me often that it doesn’t always have to be me. I can still be involved. I can still help when it fits into our schedule. But it doesn’t always have to be me taking on extra responsibility. So sometimes, I let those things slide. I embrace, “no.”
DOLCE FAR NIENTE
If you haven’t read my post about Dolce far Niente, I encourage you to pop over and have a look at it.
Dolce far niente means, the sweetness of doing nothing. Italians in Italy have embraced this phrase and live it well.
Embrace just being in the moment. Shrug off the guilt of sitting still. Soak in the sounds around you, stare up at the sky for a while. There is power in doing nothing, healing power, connecting power, restorative power.
If you are in burnout, this may be hard for you. Reach out to me, and let’s chat more about some resources to help you learn to sit still just a little.
GATHER WITH LOVED ONES
Pull together some people you love to be with. The ones that you can laugh with, sit in silence with, go for a bike ride with.
Schedule some time together to connect. Don’t schedule a heavy duty activity. You do not need to book a tour, or jam pack the time together with something to do. Keep it simple, keep it light. Don’t add to your responsibilities to make this happen, it’s supposed to be restorative.
These are 5 of my favorite ways to add more self care into my days and weeks. The excitement of gathering with loved ones allows me to look forward to something fun. Running my fingers through moon sand is something I find super relaxing, and believe me when I can head to the beach and touch the real thing- I take advantage of that! I look for ways to get the family outside sitting on the patio with the objective being just sitting together with one another in the moment.
These things are easy to incorporate into our lifestyle, and leave me feeling ever so refreshed. I encourage you to try some or all of them.
In these small ways you begin to be the leading lady/man in your own life. You allow yourself to fill up your cup. You allow these experiences to pour into you. You set boundaries by saying “no” to another action item, and instead set intentional time aside for self care.
Give it a try and let me know how it goes!
